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"Life is a kumquat!" - Maxwell Smart

Get Smart Episode #93, Season Four #7.


While acting as a substitute teacher at the CONTROL Training School, Maxwell Smart assigns two rookie agents the task of tailing 99 on a pre-wedding shopping spree.


The Chief asks 99 to pick up some important items on her day off, each of which comprises a part of a secret formula. Meanwhile, Max teaches a couple of new recruits. Max decides to have the trainees brush up on how to tail suspects, and they are asked to tail 99 while she's on her mission. Although asked to be inconspicous, they fail at this miserably, causing 99 to believe that KAOS is after her. She calls the Chief to ask for help, so he assigns Max's recruits to be on the lookout for the KAOS agents, in essence asking them to tail themselves!

99 finishes collecting the items, and is asked to drop them off with a CONTROL cypher expert. Unfortunately, a KAOS agent has already taken the expert's place. When the KAOS agent fails to recognize the items 99 has picked up, she immediately realizes that he isn't who he's supposed to be. Max arrives shortly afterward, and beats the KAOS Agent at an "iron fencing" match.





Weapons and Gadgets[]



  • This episode features an early appearance by comedian Fred Willard.
  • Max says that he and 99 will be getting married "next week," but the wedding episode is still two weeks away.
  • This is the first appearance of the Cone of Silence this season.

Reality Check[]

  • The title refers to the Charles Dickens novel A Tale of Two Cities. The book had previously been referenced in Episode #80 "The Wax Max" when Max, dressed as the book's central character, Sydney Carton, quotes (or misquotes) the final line, "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done", imitating the voice of Ronald Colman, star of the 1935 film version - also the source of the voice of King Charles in Episode #74 "The King Lives?".